The Nigerian Tire That Gave Up on Life
—A PSA about Pressure, Balance, and Betrayal
---
I have one rule for the tires on my car:
Do your job.
Simple. Honest. Fair.
But not this one.
This particular front tire—on the driver’s side—
woke up one sunny Sunday morning
and decided that it was no longer interested in the tire lifestyle.
It didn’t want to roll.
It didn’t want to grip.
It certainly didn’t want to contain air.
Nope.
It threw in the towel
and yeeted itself off the rim
like it had a better appointment elsewhere.
---
Now, before anyone blames me—
let the record show:
I wasn’t drag racing.
I wasn’t curb hopping.
I moved the car three feet.
Three.
Apparently, that was enough to break its spirit.
Because the moment I turned the wheel,
it decided to clock out of existence and announce:
“I didn’t sign up for this life.”
Or, in its native dialect:
“I didn’t come here to suffer ooo!”
---
So I called the tire guy.
He showed up with the vibe of a man who mostly knows what he's doing.
I tried to trust.
I even stayed quiet when he forgot to use sealant until I reminded him—
like the responsible, traumatized adult I am.
He patched it up.
Inflated it to 35 psi.
Gave me the thumbs up.
And I thought: “Okay. We’re back in business.”
No.
---
Because the next day, I started driving and the car said:
"Ma’am… we are dragging."
Even eco mode, that pride-killing sibling you love but still hate,
was looking at me like:
“This is beyond my control.”
It felt like I was hauling the entire emotional weight of 2020
in the undercarriage of this vehicle.
---
So I finally checked the tire pressure myself.
Driver’s side: 35 psi.
Passenger side: 56 psi.
I… excuse me?
We were supposed to be a team.
A balanced pair.
But no—my passenger tire had been overachieving in silence
while the Nigerian tire sulked with entitlement.
Naturally, I matched the pressure.
Set both to 56.
And my poor car, God bless her loyal suspension,
exhaled.
She stood taller. Drove straighter.
It was like giving her a chiropractic adjustment and a therapy session in one.
---
Lesson learned:
Tire pressure matters.
Mediocre help needs monitoring.
And if your tire tries to tap out of existence again,
remind it—gently but firmly—
that its only job is to hold air and roll.
You don’t get to be the main character.
You’re a tire.
Now inflate and get back to work.
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